Not happy, Jan: Disgruntled Essendon fans tee off on their team after the Bombers’ thrashing. Photo: AFL MEDIA
It will be a round long remembered for two main reasons. Snow tumbled – and so did the futility records.
Astonishingly, the Wallabies piled more points on the world champion All Blacks than GWS, Essendon, North Melbourne or Carlton could muster this weekend in a code of football designed to produce vastly higher scores than your average rugby match.
The Bombers’ putrid performance in a 104-point thrashing from the Western Bulldogs was by far the most startling of the lot and could have huge ramifications for both clubs in their respective pursuits of September action.
Dylan Shiel kicked the first goal in the opening 20 seconds, but his side conceded the next 21 majors in succession and was on the wrong end of the first triple-figure margin of the season.
The Bulldogs had 125 more disposals, 29 more inside-50s and 36 more contested possessions than their feeble opponents, and Essendon went 108 minutes without kicking a goal before mustering three in the dying stages. It did very little in terms of adding respectability to the scoreboard.
That the Bombers’ feat of futility was “achieved” in pristine conditions under the roof at Marvel Stadium only made it worse. At least the Giants, Kangaroos and Blues could lay part of the blame for their scoring woes on inclement weather.
Essendon has now lost its past two games by a combined 163 points and has dropped 10.5 percentage points in the process – down from 104.3 to 93.8 – putting its finals hopes in serious jeopardy.
Naturally, the downturn has poured heat back on to John Worsfold. The decorated coach is charged with steadying the ship and ensuring safe passage to September, and Essendon will need to win one of its remaining games against Fremantle (in Perth) and Collingwood to qualify.
The media can rightly be criticised at times for focusing too heavily on negative angles. The position is often understandable, given such storylines generally drive consumption in greater numbers than the fluffy, feel-good stuff.
But the Bulldogs deserve to be celebrated for a brilliant display of power, pace and precision that delivered this victory and kept the finals door ajar.
Jackson Macrae and Lachie Hunter starred and Marcus Bontempelli might be in Brownlow form, while Josh Dunkley might even win one someday.
There was a good spread of goalkickers as key forwards Josh Schache and Aaron Naughton combined for five majors. The Dogs’ future looks bright again under Luke Beveridge.
Elsewhere, the “Danger Show” was in full swing as Geelong celebrated its own “Retro Round” by getting back to what it has done best this season, which is winning games of football.
Patrick Dangerfield hobbled off with a knee injury before half-time but produced another best-on-ground display to suggest he’s right in the Brownlow hunt.
North managed just one goal in a tally of 1.8 (14) – its lowest in its 95 seasons of AFL-VFL football.
GWS matched its own lowest-ever score of a much shorter history by kicking 4.5 (29) against Hawthorn. The Giants couldn’t manage a goal after half-time as wind, rain, hail and snow – yep, snow – made life difficult.
If images of Paul Peos shielding himself from hail at Waverley Park in 1993 have lasted almost three decades on the highlights reels, then expect footage of the Canberra cold snap and a sheet of snow sweeping across the ground to be replayed for even longer.
There were no long sleeves for the Hawks in the nation’s capital, where they kept their finals dream alive, although former skipper Jarryd Roughead did break Alastair Clarkson’s rule while playing for Box Hill at Werribee.
The more dramatic results of the round meant the meeting of old rivals Melbourne and Collingwood seemed to slip under the radar. The Pies scored a much-needed victory, while the Dees suffered a fifth straight defeat.
High-profile recruit Steven May’s hamstring injury was salt in the wound and, in the space of 12 months, Melbourne has become utterly irrelevant again. Tellingly, the crowd of 31,903 was the lowest for a Demons home game against Collingwood since June 1985.
Gold Coast would be even lower on the “relevancy scale” if it wasn’t for the fact the AFL had spent countless millions of dollars on its problem child and is desperate to see it succeed.
A 16th straight defeat consigned the Suns to their first wooden spoon in an 18-team competition – their second overall – and set up conquerors Brisbane for a top-four finish.
Livewire forward Charlie Cameron kicked a career-best six goals to effectively lock in an All-Australian berth (if he hadn’t already) as the Lions marched to an eighth straight win.
St Kilda and Fremantle are both just about cooked after their nail-biter, but Port Adelaide leads the hunt for eighth spot after knocking off Sydney to displace crosstown rival Adelaide, which lost to West Coast in Perth.
Young Power star Connor Rozee’s star continues to rise and ruckman Peter Ladhams looks a find, keeping prized recruit Scott Lycett out of the side for a second week running. Charlie Dixon’s three goals were a welcome shot in the arm for the capable power forward and you get the feeling Port could do some damage in September.
There’s no doubt Richmond could after brushing off Carlton to sit a game clear in fourth spot. The Blues fought hard against a serious flag fancy, but could only put another tick in the “honourable loss” column.
It’s genuinely hard to spot a challenger beyond the top four, but stranger things have happened. Just ask those Wallabies.
