Tina Fey (left) and Amy Poehler “virtually” co-host the 2021 Golden Globes, Fey from New York City, Poehler in Los Angeles.

The Golden Globes, Hollywood’s messiest awards show. I had been anticipating this day for weeks. Actually, more like months.

I predict awards every year, have since I saw “Return of the King” win Best Picture. Although in a more organised manner since my teens. I try to never miss a televised awards ceremony, not only because I love awards season, but because usually there’s at least one good piece of drama.

The 2021 Golden Globes had that in spades. Seriously, this isn’t even hyperbole. Before the awards, “The Los Angeles Times” published an investigation into the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which is the body which hosts the Globes.

To anyone who’s followed awards season for years, there weren’t generally any new revelations. However, it has brought greater scrutiny towards the HFPA’s practices. Namely the fact that it’s a body of 87 foreign journalists predominantly based in LA, but which manages to have no black members.

The HFPA is also synonymous with a practice I have once seen deemed “star-fucking”. Which quite frankly nails it.

The HFPA has been infamous for years for its practice of receiving gifts for awards (Tom Ford’s perfume for nominations comes to mind), fancy set visits from distributors of prospective nominees (Netflix’s press junket to the set of “Emily in Paris” in enormous luxury) and just generally being used as a cash and access cow for the journalists. These practices are not new, just google Pia Zadora if you don’t believe me.

So this year’s ceremony began mired in controversy, which the HFPA tried to address by rolling out two “diverse” members and a German woman. Unfortunately, she was not the German sausage Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were referring to in their opening, so I was a bit disappointed.

In terms of the ceremony itself, it’s like the HFPA just didn’t even try because it knows everyone thinks it’s a joke.

I watched the virtual Emmys last year and honestly, the Globes felt like a much cheaper, badly-produced version of that. There were numerous sound problems, Poehler’s microphone malfunctioning several times and Daniel Kaluuya’s acceptance speech having zero sound at all and him being taken off screen until eventually being brought back being the most notable.

Multiple times when coming back from an ad break you could hear the show producer telling people to applaud. Nothing breaks a mood like hearing “3, 2, 1… applause” when focusing on a black screen for a few seconds because the ad break doesn’t synchronise properly with the show broadcast. It was, quite frankly, tragic.

Having Fey and Poehler host on different coasts of the USA should have been an interesting ploy but really added nothing to it, and really wasn’t able to match up to their previous hosting. Mostly because the Globes only really work when the room is full of celebrities drunk on free champagne and not eating the catering.

I don’t know if the HFPA just decided to burn everything down on its way out or what, but this year’s awards certainly served up many surprises.

Most notably, Rosamund Pike winning Best Lead Actress in a Comedy/Musical, Andra Day winning Best Lead Actress in a Drama and Jodie Foster winning Best Supporting Actress.

I saw none of them coming. I’ve been tipping for this awards season since New Years Eve 2019 (it never ends) and did not have any of these even in my peripheral vision. I even audibly yelled when Day won. I could almost understand the other two, but Day? I couldn’t believe it.

These three awards completely shake up the awards race. Pike winning over Maria Bakalova in “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm” (which won the two other awards for which it was nominated), is surely deserving, but extremely head-scratch worthy.

If the association loved Borat so much, how can it not award the second lead of the film? Is it more of the HFPA’s infamous star-fucking, or is Pike just that good? Or both? Both is good.

I kind of really loved this decision, not only because Pike in sociopath mode is glorious, but because she could potentially upset the Oscar race. I haven’t felt this alive in months, I thought it was set. I thought there was at least four “locks” for Best Actress, maybe five. I didn’t think Pike was among them.

Now Jodie Foster, that’s one I think no one really saw coming. I’ve seen people pulling for Day for months, I didn’t buy into the hype with it being a Lee Daniels movie, but I’m prepared to be wrong. But Foster? No one I knew at all was predicting this.

The Mauritanian might very well be great, Foster might very well be great in it. But it’s an extremely underseen film in the US, it’s not even out in Australia yet.

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So the possibility of Foster winning over Glenn Close, who’s arguably beloved and who has one of Netflix’s most watched movies, Olivia Colman, a previous Oscar winner in an extremely well-received Sundance hit, Amanda Seyfried, an actress who’s never received awards love but is finally seen to be receiving her due in a Fincher film about Hollywood for Netflix, and Helena Zengel, a 12-year-old wunderkind who basically carries a Tom Hanks movie on her back, is completely astounding.

“But what if the performances were just really good?” you ask? Look, they very well may be. I know Pike certainly was. But these awards are voted on by 87 people, whose integrity is very much in question. Day might be a revelation as Billie Holliday, Foster might give a performance as good as her Clarice Starling, but given these wins are extremely out of left field and given by an awards body that has arguably zero morals and no leg to stand on, one has to wonder.

Carey Mulligan had arguably been a favourite to win Best Lead Actress in a Drama, and had she not won, literally every other nominee would have been in line before Day. Pike winning Best Lead Actress in a Comedy is less surprising considering her several nominations at the Globes before this. However, considering Bakalova is being viewed as a Best Supporting Actress contender for “Borat” it’s really beyond me that Pike would win when they awarded “Borat” in the other fields and Pike was the sole nomination for “I Care A Lot”. Foster, is well, Foster. Everyone loves Jodie Foster. Best Supporting Actress is a field without a clear front-runner, but to win out of the blue without showing up at any other precursors is absolutely wild.

I’m not saying there was any untoward behaviour towards or within the HFPA for any of these wins, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if there was.

There was at least some good to be found in the Globes this year. Chloé Zhao became the second woman to win Best Director, whilst “Nomadland” also took out Best Picture – Drama.

If you’ve read my review of “Nomadland” (HERE’S THE LINK) you’ll know why I was thrilled. Chadwick Boseman posthumously took out Best Lead Actor in a Drama for his role in “Ma Rainey’s “Black Bottom”, a movie which, quite honestly, I didn’t like.

But to see his wife Simone Ledward Boseman’s acceptance speech for him brought me to tears. He was certainly a brilliant actor, and to lose him at such a young age is a tragedy.

David Fincher took a shot after every award he lost, which was quite frankly more entertaining than his film “Mank”. And Tracy Morgan made me spit water everywhere with his interesting pronunciation of “Soul”, which can only really be done justice by the footage of it. Forget John Travolta mangling Idina Menzel’s name at the 2014 Oscars, “Sawel” is the new winner.

There were some pretty deserving winners within the giant clusterfuck that is the HFPA and Golden Globes, “The Queen’s Gambit” and Anya Taylor-Joy, John Boyega, Daniel Kaluuya, Emma Corrin, “Soul”. There were also some bizarre decisions: Jared Leto, snubbing Paul Mescal for “Normal People” but nominating Daisy-Edgar Jones and the show, much like the Emmys did the reverse to Edgar-Jones.

There was the snubbing of Meryl Streep for “The Prom” but nominating James Corden for the same movie as if he’s not the worst part of everything he makes, there was “Ratched” and “Hollywood’s” presence among the nominees as if it’s not Ryan Murphy at his worst nonsense.

Not to mention the mega-controversy over nominating something like “Emily in Paris”, which is fine but garbage entertainment and snubbing something as powerful, widely-watched and timely as Micaela Coel’s “I May Destroy You”.

Awards bodies being kind of crap is not a revelation. BAFTA has introduced juries to try to make the awards more diverse. The Oscars have tried to widely diversify their overwhelmingly white male membership. The Screen Actors’ Guild? Well, since it merged with American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, it’s best not to think about them.

But the HFPA is unique in being visibly, publicly lacking in integrity for many, many years. The fact that it took until 2021 for it to be publicly called out when it practically basked in Harvey Weinstein’s gifts for decades, is astounding.

Maybe next year will be different. Maybe next year will be more diverse and, quite frankly, better. Or maybe the HFPA will implode and we’ll lose a televised awards ceremony not because the audience numbers are dropping, but because the people who run it are racist and out of step with the industry they claim to write about.

The Golden Globes are always messy but this year might just be the messiest. Bring on the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Awards (the AACTAs) and the Critics’ Choice Awards. The award season’s finally in swing. Hopefully, all of them will be better than 2021’s Golden Globes.

2021 GOLDEN GLOBES: NOMINEES AND WINNERS

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN ANY MOTION PICTURE
Sacha Baron Cohen — The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Daniel Kaluuya — Judas and the Black Messiah (cinemas 11 March)
Jared Leto — The Little Things (cinemas 18 February)
Bill Murray — On the Rocks (Apple TV – out now)
Leslie Odom, Jr — One Night in Miami (Amazon Prime – out now)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A SERIES, LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TV
WINNER: John Boyega — Small Axe (Foxtel Go – out now)
Brendan Gleeson — The Comey Rule (Stan – out now)
Dan Levy — Schitt’s Creek (Netflix – out now)
Jim Parsons — Hollywood (Netflix – out now)
Donald Sutherland — The Undoing (Foxtel Go – out now)

BEST ACTRESS IN A TV SERIES — MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Lily Collins — Emily in Paris (Netflix – out now)
Kaley Cuoco — The Flight Attendant (Foxtel Go – out now)
Elle Fanning — The Great (Stan – out now)
WINNER: Catherine O’Hara — Schitt’s Creek (Netflix – out now)
Jane Levy — Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (Stan – out now)

BEST MOTION PICTURE — ANIMATED
The Croods: A New Age (cinemas now)
Onward (Disney+ – out now)
Over the Moon (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Soul (Disney+ – out now)
Wolfwalkers (Apple TV – out now)

BEST ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TV
Bryan Cranston — Your Honor (Stan – out now)
Jeff Daniels — The Comey Rule (Stan – out now)
Hugh Grant — The Undoing (Foxtel Go – out now)
Ethan Hawke — The Good Lord Bird (Stan – out now)
WINNER: Mark Ruffalo — I Know This Much Is True (Foxtel Go – out now)

BEST SCREENPLAY — MOTION PICTURE
The Father (cinemas 1 April)
Mank (Netflix – out now)
Nomadland (cinemas 4 March)
Promising Young Woman (cinemas 7 January)
WINNER: The Trial of the Chicago 7 – Aaron Sorkin (Netflix – out now)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES — DRAMA
WINNER: Emma Corrin — The Crown (Netflix – out now)
Olivia Colman — The Crown (Netflix – out now)
Jodie Comer — Killing Eve (Stan – out now)
Laura Linney — Ozark (Netflix – out now)
Sarah Paulson — Ratched (Netflix – out now)

BEST ORIGINAL SONG — MOTION PICTURE
Fight for You — Judas & the Black Messiah (cinemas 11 March)
WINNER: Io Si — The Life Ahead (Netflix – out now)
Speak Now — One Night in Miami (Amazon Prime – out now)
Hear My Voice — The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix – out now)
Tigress & Tweed — The United States v Billie Holiday (cinemas 29 April)

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE — MOTION PICTURE
The Midnight Sky (Netflix – out now)
Tenet (Warner Bros – available to buy now)
News of the World (Netflix – out now)
Mank (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Soul (Disney+ – out now)

BEST ACTOR IN A TV SERIES — MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Don Cheadle — Black Monday (Stan – out now)
Nicholas Hoult — The Great (Stan – out now)
Eugene Levy — Schitt’s Creek (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Jason Sudeikis — Ted Lasso (Apple TV – out now)
Ramy Youssef — Ramy (Stan – out now)

BEST TV SERIES — MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Emily in Paris (Netflix – out now)
The Flight Attendant (Foxtel Go – out now)
WINNER: Schitt’s Creek (Netflix – out now)
The Great (Stan – out now)
Ted Lasso (Apple TV – out now)

BEST ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE — MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Maria Bakalova — Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (Amazon Prime – out now)
Kate Hudson — Music (cinemas 14 January)
Michelle Pfeiffer — French Exit (cinemas 18 March)
WINNER: Rosamund Pike — I Care a Lot (Amazon Prime – out now)
Anya Taylor-Joy — Emma (Amazon Prime – out now)

BEST ACTOR IN A TV SERIES — DRAMA
Jason Bateman — Ozark (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Josh O’Connor — The Crown (Netflix – out now)
Bob Odenkirk — Better Call Saul (Stan – out now)
Al Pacino — Hunters (Amazon Prime – out now)
Matthew Rhys — Perry Mason (Foxtel Go – out now)

BEST MOTION PICTURE — FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Another Round (cinemas 11 February)
La Llorona (N/A)
The Life Ahead (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Minari (cinemas 18 February)
Two of Us (cinemas 15 April)

BEST TV SERIES — DRAMA
Ratched (Netflix – out now)
Ozark (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: The Crown (Netflix – out now)
Lovecraft Country (Foxtel Go – out now)
The Mandalorian (Disney+ – out now)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN ANY MOTION PICTURE
WINNER: Jodie Foster — The Mauritanian (cinemas 24 March)
Olivia Colman — The Father (cinemas 1 April)
Glenn Close — Hillbilly Elegy (Netflix – out now)
Amanda Seyfried — Mank (Netflix – out now)
Helena Zengel — News of the World (Netflix – out now)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A SERIES, LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TV
Cynthia Nixon — Ratched (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Gillian Anderson — The Crown (Netflix – out now)
Helena Bonham Carter — The Crown (Netflix – out now)
Julia Garner — Ozark (Netflix – out now)
Annie Murphy — Schitt’s Creek (Netflix – out now)

BEST ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TV
Cate Blanchett — Mrs America (Foxtel Go – out now)
Daisy Edgar-Jones — Normal People (Stan – out now)
Shira Haas — Unorthodox (Netflix – out now)
Nicole Kidman — The Undoing (Foxtel Go – out now)
WINNER: Anya Taylor-Joy — The Queen’s Gambit (Netflix – out now)

BEST LIMITED SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TV
Normal People (Stan – out now)
WINNER: The Queen’s Gambit (Netflix – out now)
Small Axe (Foxtel Go – out now)
The Undoing (Foxtel Go – out now)
Unorthodox (Netflix – out now)

BEST ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE — DRAMA
Riz Ahmed — Sound of Metal (Amazon Prime – out now)
WINNER: Chadwick Boseman — Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (Netflix – out now)
Anthony Hopkins — The Father (cinemas 1 April)
Gary Oldman — Mank (Netflix – out now)
Tahar Rahim — The Mauritanian (cinemas 24 March)

BEST DIRECTOR — MOTION PICTURE
David Fincher — Mank (Netflix – out now)
Regina King — One Night in Miami (Amazon Prime – out now)
Aaron Sorkin — The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Chloe Zhao — Nomadland (cinemas 4 March)
Emerald Fennell — Promising Young Woman (cinemas 7 January)

BEST MOTION PICTURE — MUSICAL OR COMEDY
WINNER: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (Amazon Prime – out now)
Hamilton (Disney+ – out now)
Music (cinemas 14 January)
Palm Springs (Amazon Prime – out now)

BEST ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE — MUSICAL OR COMEDY
WINNER: Sacha Baron Cohen — Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (Amazon Prime – out now)
James Corden — The Prom (Netflix – out now)
Lin-Manuel Miranda — Hamilton (Disney+ – out now)
Dev Patel — Personal History of David Copperfield (available to buy now)
Andy Samberg — Palm Springs (Amazon Prime – out now)

BEST ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE — DRAMA
Carey Mulligan — Promising Young Woman (cinemas 7 January)
Frances McDormand — Nomadland (cinemas 4 March)
Vanessa Kirby — Pieces of a Woman (Netflix – out now)
Viola Davis — Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Andra Day — The United States vs Billie Holiday (cinemas 29 April)

BEST MOTION PICTURE — DRAMA
The Father (cinemas 1 April)
Mank (Netflix – out now)
WINNER: Nomadland (cinemas 4 March)
Promising Young Woman (cinemas 7 January)
The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix – out now)