A dejected Collingwood after the Pies’ loss to Essendon last Friday night. Photos: AFL MEDIA
Is that all she wrote for football in Victoria this season? A rather large vocalist is warming up her tonsils. The pending tune could be one of disaster for several clubs based in the competition’s heartland.
Collingwood’s self-advertised theory that it travels well will be put to the test when it joins nine Victorian rivals in setting off on a road trip that we are led to believe could last about five weeks from round six.
That, of course, could change at any stage. But it doesn’t look like there will be too much travel over interstate borders any time soon and there is even doubt over when Victorian clubs will return after that period.
Back on Friday night, a second straight defeat left the Magpies reeling during a week from hell. In the days prior, Jeremy Howe’s serious knee injury was confirmed, and Steele Sidebottom and Lynden Dunn were suspended for coronavirus breaches.
When it came to producing the goods on the field, Nathan Buckley’s men folded in a heap for two quarters against fierce rival Essendon at the MCG. In the match’s aftermath, Pies veteran Travis Varcoe was subjected to abhorrent racial vilification (when will this rubbish end?) and Mason Cox was abused via social media.
Cox had an old-fashioned stinker in wet and slippery conditions that didn’t suit him at all. The American tall managed just two handpasses and failed to get a kick. But the keyboard warriors have far more cause than Cox for what the football industry would call a ‘robust review of performance’.
As if Collingwood’s week couldn’t get any worse, Jordan De Goey and another man (who is not associated with the club) were charged with indecent assault in relation to an incident in 2015. De Goey attended a police station over the weekend and as a result will have to provide two negative COVID-19 tests before playing for the Magpies again.
Collingwood president Eddie McGuire found it hard to put a positive spin on any of it, but boy did he try with the Sidebottom incident.
Next up for Collingwood is a road trip that begins with a meeting with Hawthorn at Giants Stadium, where both sides have lost to GWS in recent weeks. Another defeat there would be a huge dent in the Pies’ premiership chances.
It’s not unusual for Collingwood to hog the headlines. They have long been the biggest sporting club in the land, but they weren’t the only big news in round five.
This column pointed out recently that only unforeseen circumstances could stop Matt Rowell winning the Rising Star award. His shoulder exploding at Kardinia Park fitted the description.
Suddenly the Suns are back on the losers’ list after a defeat to Geelong that was made a whole lot worse when they lost their hottest young prospect early. Rowell faces a long stint on the sidelines.
Gary Ablett once went through a similar injury during his time at Gold Coast but saluted as a Geelong star again on Saturday. The Little Master celebrated his 350-game milestone in Joel Selwood’s 300th (and Jack Henry’s 50th) as the Cats produced a performance that didn’t drive Chris Scott to the point of ‘state of the game’ utterings in his post-match assessment.
The win marked successive victories for last year’s minor premiers for the first time since June 7, 2019.
The AFL’s sling tackle crackdown went a little too far when Essendon’s Will Snelling was pinged unfairly for a “dangerous tackle” on Callum Brown. The young Pie kicked a goal, social media exploded and the AFL admitted the umpire had made an error.
John Worsfold did his best to hide Jake Stringer’s injury in his post-match press conference but there was no hiding the Bombers star hobbling around on crutches. Stringer was a star against Collingwood but now faces up to eight weeks on the sidelines with a syndesmosis injury.
Port Adelaide failed its biggest test to date when it was given what Ken Hinkley described as an “upper-cut” by Brisbane at the Gabba. The 37-point result left the Power still sitting in top spot on percentage but they now have the Lions hot on their tail.
West Coast bounced out of their funk with a win over Sydney ahead of one more hub game and a long sting at home, while Richmond scored a much-needed victory. But the Tigers’ first win since the AFL restart came at a significant cost as premiership stars Dion Prestia and Toby Nankervis went down with syndesmosis injuries.
At the wrong end of the ladder, Fremantle knocked off Adelaide in a battle that could well decide the wooden spoon in a few months’ time.
St Kilda, the Bulldogs and Giants all scored important wins, with the latter particularly impressive in their comprehensive win over Hawthorn.
The season continues for now, but not in Victoria. Whether it returns to the state this season is anyone’s guess. Stranger things have happened, especially in 2020.
So, let’s get real. If you draw a line through the peaks and troughs of Victoria’s COVID-19 infections, the earliest you could even remotely see football being played in Victoria is mid-October, and even then without crowds.
This means that Victorian clubs have to expect to spend the rest of this bowdlerised home and away season – 12 rounds, presumably over 12 weeks – 84 days – away from the friendly confines of the MCG, Docklands and Kardinia Park.
If you think there’s any other even remotely likely scenario, I suggest you watch The Castle again.
That also means that at the very least the first two weeks of the finals will be played interstate, and even if, a very big even if, there’s a way to continue them in Melbourne, there’s no possibility that anyone will be able to go to them.
Is that really a tenable situation? Eddie? Jeff? Oh, Richard and Gill too, I guess? 10 shattered Victorian teams traipsing around the country on a fool’s errand to make a Grand Final played in some godforsaken (but ambitious) outpost?
Fergeddaboudit boys.