An unhappy Jonny Bairstow walks off after being stumped in the Second Test at Lord’s. Photo: GETTY IMAGES

Can you believe it? The national meltdown. The sanctimony. The holier than thou arrogance. The English.

There are two astounding aspects to the Jonny Bairstow run out. The first is the delusion that has been revealed within English cricket and, it seems, the entire nation.

The delusion is that they think they own and regulate the concept of ‘the spirit of the game.’ For them it’s their right to give the rest of us a good old dressing down – no, a ferocious scolding – about what is, and isn’t fair.

And, of course, for them there’s no need to be consistent with their deliberations. They didn’t seem to care about the spirit of the game a decade ago when the umpire inexplicably missed Stuart Broad clearly edging the ball to be caught at first slip.

Broad knew he edged it. The Australians knew he edged it. Broad stood his ground. Given the obsession his country seems to have with upholding all things that fall under ‘the spirit of the game’, one would have expected Broad to walk. He didn’t.

On Sunday, Broad was brought to the crease as the next batter in line after Bairstow. When he arrived in the middle of the ground, it seemed he had the almighty spirit pulsating through his moral conscience. He told wicketkeeper, Alex Carey, that the Bairstow run-out would be what he’s forever remembered for.

This is the same Stuart Broad who said after he edged to slip and didn’t walk:

“Those things aren’t remembered. It’s winning the series that will be remembered. We do have a win-at-all-costs mentality. I think we’re quite an unpleasant team to play against at the moment. Teams won’t play against us and enjoy the experience. That’s want we want.”

Anyone else smell the stench of hypocrisy?

The second staggering aspect of the whole episode is the reaction from the locals. From the bloated elitists in the MCC long-room chanting ‘cheat’ to the Australian players as they walked past, the crowd chanting ‘same old Aussies, same old cheats’, the less than squeaky clean coach who won’t have a beer with the Aussies, the journalist asking if we’ll see an underarm bowl from the Australians during the series, to the typically unhinged front pages of the nation’s newspapers.

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They scream at us with bluster and condemnation, insisting we don’t understand sportsmanship, or respect the spirit of the game.

But the truth is, it’s the English who have let themselves down and acted like bad sports far more than the Australians. Fundamental to being a good sport and upholding the spirit of the game is the notion of accepting the umpire’s decision.

Only a day before the run-out incident, Mitchell Starc appeared to take a catch – he controlled it, then upon falling to the ground, slid the ball along the ground. The umpire deemed that because his hand was not under the ball, it was not a catch. The decision was, frankly, bulldust.

But while disappointed, and probably a little disillusioned, the Australians got on with it. After all, respecting the umpire’s decision is fundamental to upholding the game’s spirit.

Of course, the English were ok with that decision because it went their way. But a day later, when the shoe was on the other foot, the nation was engulfed in an almighty – and it must be said – unflattering meltdown.

They seem confused. Cheating is when you transgress the laws of the game. We’ve been there before. But whatever way you look at it, Australia did not do that on Sunday at Lords.

But that won’t stop the English – they’ll go on beating their chest, stomping their feet, bleating, chanting about Bazball and the legacy which they’re yet to create, and, of course, the importance of the spirit of the game.

Their famous supporter group, the Barmy Army, will sing about sandpaper and Australian’s being cheats. The rest of the fans will boo the Australian players.

And it will be all ok, because don’t forget, the English are the arbiters of what’s banter, sledging, what feels right, sportsmanship, and the spirit of the game. Just like they decide when the ball is dead and when the over has been called. The rest of us appear to live in their world.

Except, so far, the part about winning.