“Well, YOU lot voted me here!” Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce appeared to part ways with his brain on radio this week.

Truly we live in the land of nong.

I give you just one example, the Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

You would think to be Deputy PM you would have, at the very least, your brain in the same room as your head. Not just now and then, but all the time. It would seem a necessary condition of the job. The people of the nation rely on it.

But then along comes an interview, such as with Radio National’s Patricia Karvelas, and reality seems a distant memory.

Karvelas had asked Joyce whether Australia was still the envy of the world, given the state of the country.

To which Joyce replied: “Well, people are not dying.’’

Even if you could give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he misheard what had been said, that maybe he was mentally preparing an answer to an imaginary question, that maybe his brain had gone for a walk at that precise moment, surely it would not have even contemplated saying that.

More than 3000 people have died from COVID in Australia; this latest wave has claimed close to 1000.

Karvelas, like anyone would, reminded him: “People are dying. People are dying every day.” And suddenly, Joyce’s brain was back in the building.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. Correction. Yes, you are correct, I shouldn’t have said that. But the number in which – the fatality rate is very low,’’ he said.

“Obviously, that is a tragic thing, losing a family member – for catching the flu. But the fatality rate of Omicron is remarkably low and Australia has done a remarkable job.”

Despite the best efforts of the federal government, some might say.

As if it weren’t enough to momentarily forget the dead, Joyce also distributed the blame over the scarcity of rapid antigen tests. People and companies were buying more than they needed, he claimed. It was just like the toilet paper riots of 2020.

‘‘Corporations and businesses who buy up more than you’d expect … It’s like saying you’re not producing enough toilet paper because people are swiping it off the shelves, I don’t know why they do it, but they do.’’

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Greg Hunt, the Health Minister, agreed, and not only that some were then ‘‘scooping [them] up to resell at inflated prices’’.

If that is not a purity of purpose for can-do capitalism, not sure what is.

Not surprisingly, the business community arced up at the suggestion. Said Paul Zahra, chief executive of the Australian Retailers Association: ‘‘We reject claims that businesses are hoarding rapid antigen tests. This claim is an unfortunate deflection from the government’s failure to source enough of the testing kits as Omicron cases have peaked in recent weeks.’’

Perhaps Joyce should return to keeping Australia safe from ferocious foreign creatures, such as Yorkshire terriers. Several years ago, he had the problem by the scruff of the neck and the right words for it, too.

Who can forget this? ‘‘It doesn’t matter if Johnny Depp has been awarded sexiest man alive twice, it’s time Boo and Pistol bugger off home. Mr Depp has to either take his dogs back to California or we’re going to have to euthanise them, he’s now got about 50 hours left to remove the dogs.’’

Given we’re now living in the land of nong, what could be more appropriate than evoking Spike Milligan and his Ning Nang Nong.

‘‘On the Ning Nang Nong where the cows go bong!
And the monkeys all say boo!
There’s a Nong Nang Ning where the trees go ping!
And the teapots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go clang!
And you just can’t catch ’em when they do!
So it’s Ning Nang Nong
The cows go bong!
Nong Nang Ning! The trees go ping!
Nong Ning Nang! The mice go clang!
What a noisy place to belong!
It’s the Ning Nang Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!
The Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!’’

It could be our ersatz national anthem. Or perhaps the government could just use it as a one-size-fits-all press release.

It would make as much sense. And we could all have a laugh. And if we didn’t laugh, we’d cry.